Just four days ago I was told that I had a blood clot in my internal jugular and that it could be fatal. I was told that if it went to my brain I would suffer a stroke and if it went to my lungs I would have a fatal embolism. This is how it started. On Sunday 10/03/04 I just did not feel well, actually I had not been feeling well the entire week but I continued to function as normal but on Sunday I was just pooped and layed around on the couch. It is funny I had all my kids and Larry had his boys plus we had some of the neighborhood kids playing b-ball in our home. Larry watched over them as I layed around just exhausted. Then it happened both my hands started to turn blue and my veins began to raise up in both my arms. I felt a burning pain running down both my arms. It was really ugly Larry wanted to go to the hospital right away but I said no it will go away so we waited. I promised him that I would go to the doctor the next day. Well I never made it to the doctor my brother Frank drove me to the hospital and they took me right in. Usually you have to wait like 6 hours minimum until a doctor sees you but I guess they figured that we better take the hulk girl in. It really looked gross. They began to do test and more test and injecting me with iodine and then some nuclear medicine stuff and the test continued and the hours and hours passed by. Around 5:30 they took me to do a test one that I will never forget the rest of my life. I waited for the room and than they took me in on my stretcher and began the test. It was an ultrasound of my neck and arms the lady put in the vcr tape into the big machine and started to scan my arms and than both sides of my neck. I noticed that she really concentrated on one side of my neck. She asked my "if I felt pain in this area "and I told her "no my arms are what are hurting me". She continued a little longer and than she was finished. She wheeled me out of the room and walked over to two other men. I saw her talking to them and then it happened she walked over to where I was and told me Louise you have a blood clot in your neck and that is why all this is happening. I was numb what was this lady telling me. I really did not understand how bad this was. I was in a way relieved because now I knew why this was happening to me. A man came over and started to wheel meback to myroom in the er. I started to cry as I got closer and saw my mom standing by the door. The man kept telling me over and over "everything is going to be ok you are going to be ok". My mom was standing there with Larry and they saw my crying and began to ask me what is wrong I could not tell them I began to sob. The guy was just standing there telling me "you are going to be okay". I feel that he wanted to tell them but could not. Finally the words came out and they both were shocked. Right away the wonderful doctor that had been helping me all day walked in and told us "she has a clot in her arm" Larry said "in her arm how does that affect her other arm" the doctor said I am not sure" he then started to read the notes on the chart and said "no the blood clot is in her neck". Larry told him this is bad right" and the doctor said very directly "yes if it goes to her lungs she can have a pulmonary embolism and that is fatal". I have never felt those feelings that I felt. All I could do was think about my kids and them growing up without me. My mom my dad my sister my brothers what were they going to do. This was horrible........What about Larry I always thought I was going to have to bury him and now it was the opposite. I felt such a sinking feeling inside I can't even begin to explain it. It is like what you see on tv but this was really happening to me. The doctor said that they needed to start medication right away to try to dissolve it at that point the nurse was already there in the room he gave her orders and she left. The doctor told us that I was being admitted and treatment was going to begin to try to stop this before it started moving. I did not even want to move for the fear that this was inside me and I did not want it to travel in my body. I know that it was only minutes before the nurse came in but it felt so much longer before she walked in with the medicine. The shot was suppose to be in my stomach it was levelon a blood thinner. Boy did that hurt it burned like crazy in my belly. They also gave me morphine and that relaxed me. I called my sister and talked to her she came right away as always. Frank was with the kids and mom tried calling Rudy but could not get ahold of him. Eventually they took me to my room 4320 there they hooked me up to all the great hospital cables. The nurses came in and tried to make me feel comfortable. A while later the nurse came back and began to ask questions. Another moment that I will not forget for the rest of my life. My mom and Larry were on my left and Loris was on my right. The nurse asked if I had a living will and an advance directive. I told her no so she explained to me what these things were. Basically I have to assign ONE person to make all decisions for me in the event that I am in a coma or a state of mind that I can not make decisions. That was hard to answer so Larry said let it be her mom. So she took note. Than she asked me ok are you donating your organs. That was horrible to answer because that is so close to death. I answered yes and my mom said that I should not...She has her reasons....But I went with yes. This was all so sad for me eventhough I was under the morphine I could still feel that sadness just in a calmer form. I was not crying hysterically but crying on the inside. I really kept thinking about my children.........So they did several blood test and every once in a while they checked my blood pressure my oxygen level and my temperature. Mom called dad and told him was what going on, he gets home late from work around 9:30 he was at my bedside the next morning. My mom spent the night at my bedside and Loris went home around 12:30 and Larry I think around 2:00am. Several doctors came in the morning and in the afternoon asking me questions over and over they did more test throughout the day. My Pastor came in and prayed with us that was very special to me. That really comforted me. They continued to give me my shots in the stomach. One of my friends from church and work came in to visit me Diana and her daughter that made me very happy. Right when they were going to take me to do another test to see the location of the blood clot and to see if it had moved Missy and Frances walked in. Missy said that I needed to go to work because someone needed me and at that moment I did not know what she was talking about. It is funny how God works. I was scared because I really wanted this test done earlier because I kept asking how do we know where the clot is what if it moved. I was scared. Larry went with me for this test and waited in the waiting room with Missy and Frances. I was wheeled into the room and they began the test in the middle of the test my mind strayed from what they were doing to what Missy had said and I started to laugh the doctor probably thought that I was crazy but it was an inside joke between me an Missy and in the mist of what was going on I was laughing at it. I know that was Gods way of keeping me calm through what Missy said. In the middle of the test the doctor told me "I will be right back" he walked out and told a guy to call Dr. Samuel right away. I got scared and started to wonder what was going on. He walked around in front of my room waiting for the doctor to come. He walked in shortly after and I asked him "what was going on" he told me that he wanted another doctor to review this. Dr. Samuel came in and introduced himself to me and told me that he knew all about my case that he had been talking to one of my other doctors. They then talked their medical talk and continued with the test for a long while.. He then told me your blood clot is gone. I said where did it go too. (Thinking oh my it is traveling already and wondering where it could be) the doctor said we don't see it anywhere that is great news. He told me that it could have been a mistake. I was scared where did it go. They sent me back to my room I met Larry in the hallway and I told him the news. When we got to the room we told everyone. Loris was there with Natalie, Melanie, mom, and dad. One of the doctors walked in and told us did you hear the good news. It is gone the first report must of been a mistake and Larry asked him how do we know this one is not a mistake. The doctor said I don't have an answer but the blood clot is gone. I was happy and scared at the same time. They said that they would do another test either that night or the following morning. They did a scan of my neck and upper body and the result of it was that there was no blood clot found. This was God's doing. He had done another miracle. My dad said that when Pastor prayed and asked for it to disappear right now God did so. There is video of both these test. One of the doctors said that it would have taken a minimum of three months doing the treatment of shots for it to begin to dissolve he said that he did not understand and that it had to be God. He is a Christian. I am going to try to get copies of these tapes. We all prayed and prayed. Can you believe it I am at home on my computer. I was scared because I was not ready to die my kids needed me as well as my family and friends but I have to be honest and say that in my prayers I did tell God that I was ready to meet him. I feel that through all my life he has been there for me. I have been in so many situations that now looking back it had to be him that saved me from the so many close ones. I gave my heart to Jesus in July of 2003 and there has been no turning back. Our lives are so different from before. Yes we have faced many challenges since then but we still hold strong and I give God the glory for the good and the bad. Like my husband Larry said when we were leaving the hospital you know God really has our back.